Do you ever find yourself choosing to forgive someone(s), and then resenting that you have to? I may have not felt that at the beginning of some decisions to forgive, but maybe later. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Because of the nature of some experiences, forgetting is not possible without having a lobotomy. Forgiveness is. I don't know where it originated, but the dogged promotion of the saying forgive and forget has left many of us crippled in the ability to enjoy forgiving.
None of us have to forgive ever, for anything. Forgiveness is a choice, but not choosing to does not seem to do anything constructive. Forgiveness does not mean having to continue to accept abuse, or mistreatment, or unfairness or anything that hurts or destroys the human spirit. Removing ourselves from toxic circumstances and people, whenever possible and as soon as possible, and permanently if necessary, is the choice and right of every human being.
Being able to forgive starts with having mercy. Being able to do that with a cheerful and peaceful inner spirit can happen by understanding that forgiveness stands alone. Choosing to forgive is not dependent upon forgetting or remaining. It's dependent upon and beneficial in itself.
....the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. (Romans 12:8 English Standard Version )
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Image Credit: Public Domain Images: Leaf fall by Leon Brooks
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