When I was young, and not so young, I used to hate Sundays. I dreaded the ending of Saturday night, because I knew it was coming...that day, that strange day. Sunday was a day that was filled with silence, boredom, and guilt. Where I come from, all stores were closed on Sundays, or closed very early or opened very late. There was hardly any traffic, and hardly any pedestrians, because mostly everyone who did not go to Church slept in late.
Especially as a child, the prettier the sky on Sunday, the more it reminded me of God, and that he probably didn't like it because I was not in church. I don't know why big, fluffy, rolling white clouds reminded me of God and church. Probably because I often saw images like this on hand fans and obituaries whenever I did attend a church service.
Though it was a day filled with extra good food and desserts, Sunday was a day to be quiet. If you weren't told to be quite, you were inclined to be quiet because the world was. It was a laborious day to get through. I wanted the noise of traffic, and people and worldly activity to drown out any guilt that I felt about not reverencing God on that day.
Even the TV programs were different. Singing choirs and men talking and yelling about things of God. Hardly any good programs came on at all. I had to wait until afternoon or evening to see anything interesting. Even then, it usually wasn't my good, favorite programs. Just programs to drag myself through until Monday, when the world would return to normal. Many things have changed since I was that young, worldly, fearful, bored youth, wishing for any day but Sunday.
I enjoy Sundays now. Though these reserved days still fill me with quietness, it's a different type of quietness; and there is no guilt. In most places I have lived, there is almost no difference between Sundays and other days of the week. There is little change in traffic, pedestrian or otherwise. Stores are open by 10:00 am, if not all day. More people work on Sundays now than when I was young; this being a necessity for many of the services that we enjoy.
I feel a reverence on Sundays now, towards a God who wants me to slow down and rest one day per week. I know that if not Sunday, I should live a slower life on another day, each week. I see the value of having one day that is very different from the other six. The towering, puffy clouds on a Sunday day, or any day, remind me of a God who loves me unconditionally, not of condemnation. There is no more guilt on any Sunday, no matter what I do or don't do; whether I am in church physically, or not. There is no more fear, or boredom on this unusual day. I can enjoy and luxuriate on that wind-down day, no matter what. I know that this God sent his son, Jesus Christ, to remove all of my guilt, and self-imposed judgments, and I don't have to fear anymore.
